Moving to a new city means meeting new people, attending a new church, and living in a new community. The current theme of life is “new.” Now, to some, this might sound like a refreshing new start, but honestly, it’s not. Everything is new. Think about it. Everything is different. It’s scary and for someone who is a perfectionist (like myself), its torture.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, saying goodbye to my dad. I had been away from my family before. I’d lived months overseas and had already spent four years at college, but this move was different. When I said goodbye this time, I was saying goodbye to my family, my friends, my childhood, my home, and my comfort. Continue reading
This week, I quickly read through the book of Esther. Instead of focusing on Esther’s words and behaviors, I found myself fixated on Mordecai. I always had thought of Mordecai as the supporting male actor in Esther’s story. He was just in the background. But when I read the book this time, the Lord highlighted Mordecai’s behaviors to me.
“The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” – 1 Kings 19:11-12a
For the past year now, I have been in a questioning phase. I am often pondering unusual thoughts or questions that some might say are semantics but nonetheless here I am questioning. Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to pull a Michael Gungor. I still believe in creation. I am not writing this particular blog to pose my own opinion regarding church politics, missiology, or theology, but rather I am writing to tell you it’s ok to ask questions. Continue reading
Anyone who has known me the past three years knows that my dream is to do missions in a controversial location, which will remain nameless. I regularly post about my dream and openly share about my heart’s desire to anyone who will listen (not always the best decision, but that’s another subject). As a fresh college grad, I constantly feel the pressure of that dream suffocating me. I have posted/talked about it so much, what will people think if I don’t start fulfilling that dream? Better yet, what will I think of myself? Continue reading
God is not finished with me yet! This phrase is part of a confession that begins every service at a mega church in the Tulsa area. When I first heard that phrase, it brought comfort and hope. I thought, “God has plans for my life. My life is not over. God is working in my life. God has not left me. He is here guiding my every move.” Continue reading